We have started organising workshops about sexuality and eroticism for couples who want to become parents.
When the pregnancy does not arrive, the couple’s sexual desire and intercourse frequency tend to decrease, what is counterproductive.
When you decide that you want to get pregnant, it is important that you do not neglect your couple’s relationship and keep the same sexual habits.
It is possible that your sexual encounters are exclusively driven by your goal: “let the spermatozoa reach my precious monthly egg” and that those days that you consider as not fertile ones your libido decreases or even disappears.
Nowadays, we know that some days of abstinence to improve the sperm quality can optimise the amount of spermatozoa per ejaculate, but this also worsens other parameters, such as DNA fragmentation, as well as causing an accumulation of dead spermatozoa.
Ideally, you should keep the same frequency as usual, making sure that you have sex on the days close to your ovulation.
Even if you have not realised, probably your partner has already noticed and he is not enjoying it. They feel as if you were rejecting them one day and, in other occasions, you go after them and they never know how you are going to react.
They think that sex is turning into a task rather than being a pleasure. I know that you have a goal… However, probably, you can combine this with your seductive capacity and get him to chase you on those days, so that it would look as if he is the one having the ovulation peak and not the other way round.
Each time you get your period is a tragedy and the hormone fall associated to your menstrual cycle makes you feel more sensitive. I think it is OK to allow yourself a small moment of unhappiness and, quickly, go back to your action plan.
The feeling of “task” blocks the male desire. Have a look at this data: Males that are not looking for a pregnancy ejaculate an average of 3,2 times per week. However, if they have been trying for a year, they ejaculate 2,6 times per week and only 1,2 times when they have been trying to get his partner pregnant for two years. Furthermore, we know that the sperm quality increases with the ejaculates, since these are a stimulus for the formation of spermatozoa in the testicles. It seems pretty logic: the function trains the organ, as it happens with muscles.
We think this is a very important subject and because of this, and under medical prescription, we organise eroticism and sex workshops.
These sessions are being held on a regular basis at the clinic (for the moment, only at our clinic in Barcelona). They last for two hours and are conducted by professional staff of the company Sex Academy, experts in sexology, sexual and couple therapy. They are open to everybody. You have to attend together with your partner and you just need to register via the workshop’s web.
1- How can we connect with the pleasure factor if the pregnancy does not arrive?
2- Desire and arousal. G-spot, P-spot… Nevertheless, where do I stand?
3-Scheduled or unscheduled sex? Action plan. Process objectives and goals
4- Keys for oral sex and erotic massage
5- Sexual fantasies, sex games and toys
I attended the workshop and it was very practical and fun!!